No Doubt?

I am currently in the midst of making another short film, entitled 'Room'. It is a short film that is half-shot in Korea (South, of course) and Malaysia, and a production that is supported by my old uni, Monash.

What inspired me to do it? It is the notion of shooting a short film in two different countries, one that is not a common thing to be done for indie films. The idea came to me just as I was about to leave Korea, and I set about constructing a whole short film around it; the story follows a man who pursues his dream to become a filmmaker to go to Korea. While there, however, he finds himself missing his girlfriend more and more, and memories of their time together flashes back into the present.

Well, that's the idea. I have to admit that it is the spark to make a movie in two different countries that drove me to shoot myself (so to speak) over a period of less than a week. No crew, no camera man, no nothing. Just me...and the camera.

In essence, that is all that you need. But to drive that essence further, you need...passion. A spark for the spark.

It is that spark that I found myself looking for as I lay down on the park table/bench with Joanne in my arms and the candle wax threatening to sneak into my armpits. "What the hell am I doing here?" I thought. "The acting's terrible, the script is not great, the plot has several holes in it...I'm not ready."

It's that moment of doubt that creeps in, one which anyone can relate to. It is an illness, a disease that can lead to the destruction of dreams, and the hesitant moments that can take away achievements from the jaws of success.

For the director of a film, it can be fatal. It is a position of high regard, however big or small the production is, and a director is the party host, the man who sets the tone for the production. It is his satisfaction that everyone seeks for, the thumbs up at a good shot or the clap of the hands at the 'perfect' lighting arrangements.

Thus, doubt must not be, for if it creeps, then it crawls, grows, walks, runs, and bulldozes the production into smithereens.

So why am I doubtful?

I am doubtful because of the compromises that has had to be made to...well, almost everything. The location, cast, scheduling, camera shots, even sound, thus far in the production. I am doubtful because of the lack of support from some people. I am doubtful because...

...I am human. And it's only natural for it to creep in, for it to cloud the positives, of which there are quite a number.

Thus far, I am happy with my cinematographer, Temme. She's not experienced in making movies, but does have a keen eye on what makes a shot beautiful. I am thankful for Monash for their equipments, for Kerry Ann for her commitment as my assistant director, for Eunice for her great (and I do mean great) make up, and for those who have supported this production.

I am thankful for these people, for giving me the chance to make this movie. Good or bad, there is nothing else I want to do in life.