It is a sinking feeling, one that seems to reverberate around the empty shell of my body.
How to explain this? How explain and to let others understand the sense of shock and change to the system that is personal?
In truth, perhaps it is not a reflection of it itself. Perhaps, more to the point, it is one of what had happened before. Even more accurately, what didn't happen before. What had never occurred before. It is a moment, an opportunity, a chance that had passed, and will come around again...
...but not like this.
And so, it costs time. Time, other chances, other opportunities, other possibilities.
But let it. For now, at least, the monkey won't be hanging on my back anymore.
And in truth...in truth, it's such a relief!