Friday, November 20, 2009
It was light, it was soft. You could barely make it out against the dark exterior of the night. I had to strain my eyes to even make out the rough outline of each of the fallen. I stepped out further, reaching out with my hands. Sometimes, that which cannot be seen, can be felt. I extended my fingers, and tried to feel for it.
Late night/early morning, depending on your interpretation. It should have been the end of a long day, when the clock ticks 1AM in the morning. For me, however, it's the start. I am the lead actor in a short film, and we were just about to begin our penultimate day of shoot. It had lasted a week up until now, and there's just a little more distance to cover before we can call it a day/night.
It had been an interesting experience, but a challenging one. Enticed by the advantages, as usual I discarded the disadvantages. One of that would be the timing and the schedule. But then again, what is life without the sacrifices required to live it?
Dispirited, down, washed away, almost, by recent events. Emotionally, physically...difficult. The brighter days are ahead, but sometimes...sometimes, you need just a sign.
Then I felt it. It drops, ever so slightly, like little flakes from heaven, and it is still hard to make out from the darkness. Nevertheless, I felt it. I felt it on the tips of my fingers, and then I began to see.
I see now the first snow for what it was. The coming months will be difficult, for the winter will be harsh. The cold will be bitter, the loneliness...the loneliness will be what it always will be. Times will be challenging. They have been up until now, and they will continue to be in the future.
Nevertheless, the beginning, the calm before the storm, the first snow, is always a time of hope. It is a sign that no matter what happens, things will somehow, someway turn out to be OK. The first snow, then, washes your worries away for a moment, and now you feel it not just with your heart, but also feel the burden lift from it.
Everything is going to be fine.
“OK, guys,” I said, turning to go back in. “I'm freezing my butts off. Let's finish this.”