Wednesday, December 28, 2005


On the television, the news program showed highlights from last year’s tsunami, graphic images of people’s homes and lives being washed away by storms and floods, the will of Mother Nature.

“Don’t worry Grandma, I’m not going to be gone for long.”

My grandmother cried silently, the vain attempts to hold back her tears all but dissipated in the heat of the moment. “We are all that we have now,” she sobbed. “Don’t ever forget that.”

“Grandma, now I’m starting to cry…”

She held on even tighter, the embrace ever longer.

"The tsunami disaster last year brought home to people the realization of the power of God, as it took away the homes of others," the voice of the news announcer blared from the television. "We will not forget…"

“Grandma, I have to go now.”

She didn’t say anything, merely hanging on, before sobbing even louder. My little sister looked on, unsure of how to react, though I could tell by the look in her eye that she has already decided.


She half opened her mouth, and I half expected her to wail. Instead, she sighed, giving me only half of that which I had half expected.

On the outside, I was gamely hanging on, though a tear crept its way down my cheek.

Inside however, I was crying a thousand rivers, my heart screaming the silent screams that no one will ever hear.

Wednesday, December 14, 2005

No Shit, Sherlock

It is a cold and hollow feeling in Tony's guts to lie and bed and realise...

...that they don't give a shit.

Tuesday, December 13, 2005

Life is Beautiful

And now these three remain: faith, hope and love. But the greatest of these is love.

1 Corinthians 13:13

There are days when I hate taking the LRT. This is one of them, a day with little to laugh about, and a long trip that is no joke at all.

I had walked from college to Sunway Pyramid, during which the sky decided to open up. Not too much, but enough to make my shirt stick to my chest, with me silently praying that pneumonia will be nowhere to be seen.

And then there was the bus. It took a while to get there, give or take some 40 minutes or so, but it eventually got to the stop. I got on, and settled myself at the back end of the bus, and leaned my head against the window, my eyelids drifting lazily downwards.

I don't know what it is that brought my attention to them, but it did so sometime after my bus trip began. There was little to be seen, nothing to be acknowledged up until then.

Then I saw it.

A couple of rows ahead of me, a black man and a Chinese girl sat together casually. The man had his right arm draped around her, his fingers gently caressing her arms as they looked deeply into each other's eyes.

I can't put my finger on it. I really can't.

But I know that they're in love.

Not infatuation, not lust, not even adulation. Love.


The bus eventually reached it's last stop, and everyone got off. I needed to get to the other side of the highway, meaning that I have to take the sky bridge. The couple didn't. They alighted from the bus, and walked on under the bridge.

I went to the top of the bridge, and watched as they walked along, hand in hand.

They're in love.

I laughed.

I've Always Wanted To Put Up A Post Where The Title Is Longer Than The Actual Post Itself

So there :>

Galaxy: The Journey

Jayken sat quietly, resting his chin upon his fist as his thoughts travelled a million miles away, his eyes travelling the length of the universe further than the sparkly stars before him. His legs crossed, the marking demeanour of an important man, in a rush, ready to spring off the seat at a moment's notice.

Outside the transparisteel window, the Vole loomed into view, a carrier he was once attached to. Now, under the treaty laws, more and more of the old warriors fell into disuse. He winced as he saw a floater mech blazed a section of the Vole, blue sparks fading immediately into space. Last Tristan told him, the Vole is to be patched up and used as a training academy of sorts.

How the mighty have fallen, thought Jayken. Times up.

Right now, that moment is a while yet. Right now, he's just taking in the view outside.

"More water, sir?" He jerked his head, his thoughts broken by the pretty blonde waitress, ready to pour more water into his glass, even though it's not even half finished.

"Yes...yes, thank you." The girl smiled, and with a slow, deft flick of her wrist, she positioned the jug above the glass, and then slowly poured the water in. The light from the stars reflected themselves in microscopic fashion as the water splashed inside, tinkling against the unmelted ice cubes, before settling in as the glass was filled almost to the brim.

A stray strand of her golden hair worked loose. With her free hand, she quickly flicked it behind her ear. Jayken froze.

The way she did it reminded him so much of Jo. He silently shook his head, trying not to think of her, and failing spectacularly.

The girl stood straight, briefly flashing her smile. Jayken flashed his in return, quietly thanking her again with a curt nod of his head as she moved out of the cabin. He leaned back against the seat, and looked out the window once again.


Before long, the shuttle approached the Victory class carrier. It has been too long. But now he can't put it off any further.

The time has come.

Jayken stood up and left the compartment, his drink untouched.

*Read Galaxy: Tears of the Son.
*Read Galaxy: Across the Stars.
*Read Galaxy: The Prodigal's Return.

Monday, December 12, 2005

Five Things I Like About You

This is not something I usually do. My blog, though it offers an insight into the way that I sometimes think, is not as personal a platform as it might be for others. But when Joanne told me that she tagged me, though my initial feeling is that it's not something I necessarily want to do, I do feel somewhat pleased that she tagged me (though this feeling diminished a bit when I found out that I was only one of ten :>). Regardless, I decided to make an exception, and so these are the five criteria (in no particular order) that I look for in that special someone:

* Loyalty - This is an aspect that I look for not just necessarily in a girlfriend, but in all my friends. They can be whatever it is that they want to be, as quirky, evil, funny, or as scheming as they long as I know that they have got my back. What does this mean? Well, it just means that I want to know that I can rely on them in times of need. With my girlfriend, I expect all this and more, which means that she will not be sleeping or dating others behind my back. Which leads to...

* Honesty - This is another quality that I expect in the people that I meet. By honesty, I don't mean that they have to tell me every single thing about themselves. We all have our own secrets that we wish few others would know. I can live with that. I just want my girlfriend to say what she means and mean what she says. If she doesn't want to go out because she just doesn't feel like it, then that's what I want to hear, rather than a contrived excuse. Will it hurt? Maybe. There are times when people don't tell me the truth in order to protect my feelings. I can understand that. But I don't agree with it, because I feel (from experience) that sooner or later, the lie will be found out, and when it does, not only will it hurt more, but it would also raise doubts in my mind. It will make me think of other things that she will have told me, and wonder whether they are really true. The minute it gets to this stage, then the relationship is on rocky ground, for no relationship can survive without...

*Trust - This is possibly the most important of all criterium. Honesty and loyalty have their roles, but that road leads to trust. If there is no trust, then the relationship dies. Full stop.

* Challenge - It was a while back, sometime last year, as I lounged in my friend's garden, perched high up somewhere in Cheras. She and I went through the reasons of a particular infatuation that I had (and to a certain extent, still do) for a particular someone. I explained that I do not know for certain what it is that makes me feel the way I do for this one person. I listed what I liked about her, but also noted that there were plenty of girls who also fit the criteria. Recalling a particular event when we had something of an argument, my friend proffered this insight: "Dude, you like her because she challenges you." I still don't think that's it, but it does explain a lot of things.

* Intimacy - This is important. I'm not necessarily talking about sex or kissing, but just hugs, holding hands, and gentle caresses, amongst other things. It might be a small thing, but if I'm with someone, then this someone must be comfortable with being intimate in this way with me. Having said that, I myself am quite intimate with a lot of my female friends, which might lead to some jealous glances here and there. But this is where all the rest (trust, honesty, loyalty, etc) comes in.

There you have it. I'm not saying that I'm willing to jump into bed with anyone who has these criteria, however. These are just some of the things that I do consider when I want to be more serious with someone.

Some of you will note that I did not include any physical criteria as others might have. For me, these things aren't important. Age, height, race...for me, they are nothing more than mere markers which we can see with our own eyes, but does provides absolutely no clue as to what someone is truly like.

On the other hand, I could very well jettison all of the above and follow my heart.

For that is where love lies.

And without love, there is no nothing.

Monday, December 05, 2005

Bear With Me…

Q. What do you call a bear with no teeth?

A. A gummy bear.

*Taken from Reader’s Digest.

Saturday, December 03, 2005

For Joanne...

Once upon a time, there was a Junior by the name of Joanne. She lives somewhere in the middle of a place that I care not mention right here, partly because of security reasons, as I wouldn't want people to start stalking her, but primarily because for the life of me, and after a hefty ikan bakar for lunch at the Lake Club, I couldn't remember.

So it was that one day this Junior goes on a spiritual journey. Having been stuck in this place that time and everyone else has forgotten for a long time, she decided that enough is enough, and that she shall endure no more. So she set out on this journey, armed with nothing more than her arms and the will to live, to learn, and above all, to love.

It is this love that drove her through the sleets of winter, the flowers of spring, the bird wastes of summer and the dry leaves of autumn. On and on she walked, heaving and hiving (yes, I just made this up. I thought it sounded nice), until one day, she landed on her knees, crumpled to the floor, and, scraping her forehead on the floor in a manner that even Jesus would not approve, decided that she had enough.

Then she began to cry, a long and silent cry that echoed into the nothingness of the dark night. It disappeared, slithering its ways amongst the frozen trees and the falling snow. She cried, and she cried.

Suddenly, a light shone on her from ahead. Feeling the heat on her now scrappy forehead, she slowly raised her face, and attempted in vain to block the incoming white light.

"JOANNE!" boomed a voice, a loud and lame voice. "It is I, Fikri, the King of Lame, of the Kingdom of Middle Lame."

"My Lord," shivered Joanne, as her eyes readjusted themselves, before setting them upon a the fair and lovely face of the Lame King. My God, she thought to herself, he's cuter than Cedric. Finally focused on the stick that this Lame King has in his hand. "Is that a broomstick?"

"Yes," confirmed the two-time genius (Linora Low 2005). "It is my Thunderbolt, which I put to a use for more useful than pre-pubescent-adolescent-wizards-who-can't-drink-with-their-mouths-closed will ever do! I am here, with this broom, to sweep away your worries!" (trng dsh!)

"Yes, yes..." stuttered Joanne, falling under the Lame Spell of the beautiful writer (because he writes beautiful stories, writes beautifully, and is beautiful himsef). "I submit myself to you, oh Lamest of Lord," as she bows down, and starts to tear off her eyelids.

"Enough!" bellowed the Lame King, waving his broomstick. "Come with me, for together, you and I...we are one."

"Yes," Joanne said in a monotonous tone. " within us."

King Lame the First nodded sagely, not stroking his non-existent white beard.

Joanne felt her feet dragging her forward, one step at a time, as she moved ever closer into the blinding light. The heat in her body built up, causing her to sweat, until finally, she, the Junior from the land whose name no one remembers because of the ikan bakar at the Lake Club, and the Lame King disappeared into the light, and all is quiet.

For all is lame.

*This is probably the most ridiculous post I've ever posted. One of my Juniors has written about me as of late, and I decided to return the favour. To read her latest post on me, click here.

Thursday, December 01, 2005

The Good, The Bad, The Ugly

It's been a bad day. I care not to recount what happened today, but rest's been a bad day, even by my standards.

I drove back from university, forcing my way through the rain. The conditions were treacherous, the water seemingly intent on making life as miserable as possible for me. The wind howls their approval, nodding their silent and evil grins, before barking up into a laughter filled with menace.

I grimaced, hardening my face, and drove on, reaching the toll on the Kesas highway, which greets hello to Bukit Jalil and beyond, waving goodbye to Sunway and yesterday, today, any day.

"Selamat malam, abang," (Good evening, brother) greeted the man at the toll booth as he took my green buck.

"Er, selamat malam," I replied, somewhat taken aback. Toll operators tend not to be so forthcoming with their thank yous for my money, let alone be friendly.

"Balik daripada kerja?" he asked, wondering whether I came back from work, all the while expertly handling my change at the cash register.

"Tidak. Saya daripada kolej." I told him ("I'm coming back from college.").

"OK," he said, stripping away my receipt, before handing it and the change back to me. "OK, terima kasih, abang. Selamat malam!" he thanked me, bidding me a good night.

I said my thank yous in return, and drove off slowly, as quickly as a wide smile formed at my mouth.

The rain kept pouring, ever harder as it smashed against my windscreen.

But life is good.